Are Muslim men scared of professional single Muslim women in their thirties?

Jack Straw, the justice secretary in the former British government, sparked controversy when he accused young men of Pakistani origin in Britain as regarding vulnerable native girls as “easy meat” for sexual abuse. The Blackburn MP and one of the Labor Party’s most prominent figures challenged the Pakistani community in the United Kingdom to tackle a problem that has resulted in “Pakistani heritage men thinking it is OK to target native girls in this way”.

Mr. Straw made his remarks after two Asian men were jailed indefinitely inNottingham for a series of rapes and sexual attacks on vulnerable girls they had picked up on the streets.

Jack Straw seems to have a campaign to demonise and stereotype Muslims. If he was honestly tackling a problem he would have done it in a different way.

Why it is a surprise that white woman are easier to get into bed than a Pakistani women and not to mention we are in the UK which happens to be a mainly white population.

I believe he concerned about the number of white female converts to Islam because some of them see the real Islam through a Pakistani brother. 

 A nursery worker had been arrested for sexually abusing children aged 2-3 at a nursery. Sick, but Jack Straw does not say that there is a large number of paedo’s still around, or that the church is full of paedo priests. Why the hypocrisy?

The latest year, for which we have data, Lancashire police arrested 627 people for sexual offences. 0.3% of these were Pakistanis. That’s two people. 85.5% were white British. In Lancashire, there are 1,296,900 white Brits and 45,000 Pakistanis. This means that 4.163 per 10,000 white Brits were arrested for a sex crime, compared to 0.44 Pakistanis

If you look at my religion sex outside marriage, drink and drugs are all a sin and are forbidden. Also the third biggest sin in Islam is adultery, which these men also committed. They aren’t very good Muslims are they? The actions they committed are all against Islam and the punishment under Sharia would be……..I think you all know!!!

A major newspaper investigation linked some British Pakistani youths with the sexual exploitation of underage native girls in towns across North and Midland. Some of them are convicted of grooming underage native girls for sex because they think that these girls have fewer morals and are less valuable than Muslim girls. Now decent Pakistani men will be looked at as potential child abusers but last year 80% of child abusers were native Brits.

These Pakistani youths are British born and educated in state schools with non-Muslim monolingual teachers. They are the product of western education system which makes a man stupid, selfish and corrupt. They have been mis-educated and de-educated and they do not know where they belong. They suffer from identity crises. They speak English in local accents. They are unable to speak, read and write Urdu language. They find themselves cut off from their cultural roots and are unable to enjoy the beauty of their literature and poetry. Such individuals are fully assimilated into British culture. What do you expect from such individuals?  Instead of sending them to prison, they should be included in New Year Honour List. In the past a Muslim girl was awarded MBE for running way from her parents. Now there are round about 6000 runaway Muslim girls in the custody of LAs. They should also be included in the Honour List.   Thanks to the British education system.

Most teenage girls, but especially the girls who hang around the streets have no roots, low self esteem etc and so is easy prey for any group – any group – who cares to seduce them. Lots of “KID’s” around 12 to 14 start partying! (Drinking, doing drugs & having sex). This was happening in the 60s & 70s, so I am sure it’s worse now. The big issue is where the PARENTS are. British parents already lost the battle to have any control over their children.

Britain’s so brilliant Education Ministry had embarked on teaching sex to 5 year olds from last year. Britain already has health and social services, including counseling for children who are sexually active. One initiative has distributed contraceptives to girls as young as 11. Tony Blair said it is the right thing to do– handing free contraceptives to British girls. The Institute for Public Policy Research found that a major reason for Britain’s thug generation was the collapse of British family life. Evidence also showed that British adults are afraid to control their drunk, high, fornicating and violent teens. The adults also lagged behind their European peers in confronting their teenagers about “antisocial” behavior.

The native Brits have double standards and are hypocrites; they don’t mention the fact that the majority of men who go to countries in East Asia looking for under aged sex are natives European men.

This is sickening. It’s no wonder Great Britain is in such a bad shape. Ten years old British girls are haveing babies out of wedlock. They are not allowed to get married but are allowed to have babies. Teenage pregnancy rate in Great Britain is the highest in Western Europe. It is a civilised country and Yemen is a backward country because it allowes young girls to get married.

Indiscipline, incivility, binge drinking, drug addiction, gun and knife crimes, teenage pregnancies and abortion are part and parcel of British schooling. These are the reasons why majority of Muslim parents would like to send their children to Muslim schools with Muslim teachers as role models during their developmental periods. Only less than 5% attend Muslim schools and more than 95% keep on attending state and church schools to be mis-educated and de-educated by non-Muslim monolingual teachers.

There are hundreds of state and church schools where Muslim children are in majority. In my opinion, all such schools may be opted out as Muslim Academies. There is no place for a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school.

A recent article on entitled “Searching for Khadijah: A boy’s perspective” by Sajid Hassan garnered quite a bit of attention as evidenced by the long string of passionate comments it received, far more than most other articles on Altmuslimah. The article described the pressure that professional Muslim American women face from their families and their social circles to get married in their early twenties, because it becomes much more difficult to find a partner once they hit their thirties.
The article suggested that Muslim men are more interested in marrying younger women than women in their thirties, and described the author’s own experience with his quest to defy these social norms in the American Muslim community by searching for a bride that was older than him.

It is difficult to obtain objective statistical data on the marriage pool of American Muslims, but based on my own anecdotal experiences, I can confirm that the American Muslim community indeed encourages men to marry younger women, leaving single Muslim women in their thirties who are interested in getting married to choose from a limited selection of potential candidates. Some friends of ours recently chaperoned a “match-making” evening for single Muslims in the Chicago suburbs, and it appeared that the female to male ratio was 3:1 for single Muslims in their thirties seeking a spouse. While these are subjective impressions, it may still be a useful exercise to try to analyze this skewed distribution. A so called “ticking reproductive clock” is one of the conventional arguments most often cited to explain why Muslim American men prefer to settle down with women who are in their early twenties. The term refers to the fact that women experience a gradual drop in their fertility as they age, while the incidence of birth defects increases with the age of the child-bearing mother. However, in modern day society couples have a substantially smaller number of children than they did 50 or 100 years ago. Therefore, women who marry in their thirties are often able to have the desired number of children during their child-bearing years without having to feel the pressure of the “reproductive clock”.

I would like to propose a different reason for why Muslim men may be more interested in marrying younger women. While women used to get married at a much younger age in prior centuries, women today often delay their nuptials for the purpose of obtaining graduate education and embarking on a professional career. In the United States, many of the single, professional Muslim women in their thirties have graduate degrees under their belts and are earning an above-average income. The majority of Muslim American men are either immigrants or children of immigrants from the Arab World or South Asia. Often, such immigrant culture is characterized by a strong patriarchal structure. Even second-generation Muslim Americans, who are born and raised in this country, may retain key elements of patriarchal behavior—one being the need to control the finances in the marriage, and thereby sit in the driver’s seat of the relationship. However, if the wives earn as much as or even more than their spouses, it is quite natural for them to also want to have an equal role in making financial decisions. This in turn, makes it very difficult for the men to justify their dominant role in the relationship.

In addition to economic empowerment, graduate education can also transform the mind-set of students. Most good graduate programs in the sciences or humanities require their students to analyze texts, challenge existing theories, and argue their hypotheses and findings in front of an audience, all the while honing their critical thinking skills. It is only natural for graduate students to carry this training into their personal lives, applying it to their faith, friendships and relationships. To take it one step further, higher education furnishes a person with the intellectual confidence and critical thinking skills to clearly distinguish between cultural norms and Islamic philosophy. In his book “Speaking in God’s Name: Islamic Law, Authority and Women,” Khaled Abou El-Fadl posited that some Muslim scholars may selectively read religious texts in a manner that justifies the imposition of patriarchal thought. Unlike a young woman in her early twenties, a Muslim American female in her thirties, armed with a graduate degree/s, possesses the ability to question this conflation of culture and religion, and threaten her husband’s patriarchal authority in the marriage. 

While there may be many reasons behind Muslim men’s disinterest in considering Muslim women in their thirties as viable marriage candidates, the threat this particular segment of women poses to patriarchal structures remains a key reason. There is a need for introspection amongst Muslim communities which encourage women to marry at a younger age while dissuading men from settling down with older women. Such reflection will likely allow the members of Muslim communities to recognize that these traditional age norms regarding marriage are not really grounded in religious prescriptions or biological reasons, but, instead, are remnants of patriarchal cultures that have limited application today. American Muslim men may have to come to terms with the fact that male-dominated relationships are steadily becoming obsolete, and that they may have to adapt to marital relationships that are based on true partnerships.

Jalees Rehman, MD is an Assistant Professor of Medicine at the University of Chicago, where he heads a research laboratory that investigates the growth of blood vessels and the biology of stem and progenitor cells. He is also a cardiologist at the University of Chicago Medical Center. In addition to his scientific work, Jalees is a German Muslim with an interest in the philosophy of science and religion. Furthermore, he is studying the role of postmodern and existentialist thought in interfaith dialogue. Some of his articles on science, culture and religion can be found on his 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s