“A secret locked” is supposed to mean, a Muslim woman’s beauty, which she has kept under her physical hijab, “A tale untold” is supposed to mean her personality which she has kept reserved with her inner hijab which is her sense of modesty Wedding Night of a Muslim Woman My secret locked, a tale untold,The only key, within your hand,
Too sacred for them to be hold, To pure for them to understand.
Tonight I tell that tale to you,An open book for you to read,Your book, I yearn to read it too,And share each breath, your every need.
Gone the lonesome years, weeks, days,For now our hearts have taken flight,
You look at me with longing gaze,And I, at you with shy delight.
Love me; love all that I am,Cherish me as precious treasure,
Teach me with gentle guiding handEndlessly seeking His pleasure.
Are you listening to your partner? Do you expect too much? Or, are you allowing hurtful behaviour? Follow this seven-point criteria for a happy marriage!
Perfect is too conclusive a word, pompous with a degree of finality that’s unexciting. So, let’s not ask anyone if they have a perfect marriage; perfection is not possible.If you have a ‘good marriage,’ that is good enough. So, do you?If you have never wondered about this, chances are you are as close to perfection as can be. For, you have accepted your spouse as an unquestionable part of your life, and that is more than half the battle won. However, if you worry often about the state of your relationship, you have acceptance issues. The reasons could be to do with your spouse, your own attitude, or with the chemistry between you two. Here are some tips that will help you cruise along smoothly.
Communication is critical
Talk to each other about your feelings, problems, thoughts, dreams and your present and future together. Discuss how you would like to deal with various issues and promote your togetherness. Listening is as important as talking. You don’t communicate with just words, but even through silence, gestures, touch, thoughtfulness, respect and attention to your partner. If at all there must be silences between you, let these be companionable rather than moody and sulky ones.
Don’t hang all expectations on one peg
Expectations can be a heavy cross to bear. Also, when you expect irrationally, you are bound to have major disappointments. Gauge rationally what you can expect from your partner and fulfill the rest of your needs from other aspects of life. Give your partner breathing space and learn to respect his/her differences.
Don’t avoid confrontations
Some arguments are good for a healthy marriage and making up later is always wonderful. Do not push issues under the carpet; air them out once in a while. When confronted by your partner, do not stonewall or react temperamentally. Rather, listen carefully and engage in a rational discussion, allowing space for talking as well as listening, and for compromise. Do not be abusive or physically violent, nor accept this from your partner.
Challenge hurtful behaviour
Very often we are too embarrassed or shocked to protest against behaviour that hurts or humiliates us. Most women in an abusive marriage confess they never protested, because they felt ashamed. Do not make that mistake. Refuse to be trampled upon or taken for granted. Be clear about your own needs, feelings and the things you will not accept in the relationship.
Make time for each other
Love grows with moments of togetherness and shared memories. Remember the warmth that courses through you when you talk about shared happy times with each other? Go out on dates and trips together. Carve out ‘together’ time within your home. Ensure that you do not use this time to air grievances; treat it as sacrosanct.
Learn to trust and respect
Do you nag? Are you overtly suspicious? These are sure ways to create problems in a marriage where there may be none. Be alert and intelligent, but do not swing your sword Don Quixote style, where there is no problem. A good way is to start out with trust and faith in your heart, unless you are faced with irrefutable evidence to the contrary.
Follow your dreams and create your own space
Your own happiness and contentment is one of the most critical ingredients of a happy marriage. Do not put your goals on the backburner. Take them with you as you go along. If you ignore your own ambitions, you will end up frustrated and vent your feelings on those around.
Marriage, like any other relationship, needs consistent attention. Draw your lines and lay down the rules, and then have a fun and secure relationship within your comfort zone.
Now, let’s be honest here: The majority of married couples don’t actually get around to having sex on their wedding night. You might as well scrap what all those rom-coms taught you — after all the craziness that is surviving your wedding day intact, you’re usually drunk, exhausted, or both. That said, who wants to be a statistic? (Especially on their wedding night.) We didn’t! I say, add “getting laid” to your wedding day to-do list — and make it a priority. Men, here’s a handy little guide to what your wife-to-be really wants to get out of the evening. Laughter Undressing is sexy; slipping out of a 20-pound gown is not. It will be funny, and you should laugh long and hard about it. The same goes for all the other “bloopers” you’re bound to experience that night. Naughty Vows You’ve already vowed to cherish and protect each other at all costs. Now it’s time to make the juicier promises you fully intend to keep. You get where I’m going with this, right? Let’s keep this post safe for work and let you fill in the blanks. Background MusicThis is the part where the movies got it right. Nothing sets the mood quite like a naughty playlist. (Insert her favorite slow jams here.)
Compliments Every woman wants to be told they’re the most beautiful bride in the world on the Big Day. If your betrothed doesn’t want the same shameless flattery between the sheets on the big night, she’s lying. Case closed. Liquid Confidence Nerves and weddings go hand-in-hand — even when you’ve known each other forever. Bring your bubbly of choice to the bedroom and pour as you play. Having All Her Senses Engaged You’ve got the touching covered, but what about her other senses? Be sure the room is scented, styled, and soundproofed to perfection. And, don’t forget the sweets. An Orgasm Memo to all men: Your wedding night is not the time to go all selfish on your fiancée — save that for marriage. (I kid!) Foreplay Slow things down — what’s the rush? The rest of the day will already feel like a blur by the time you enter your suite, so the after party is your chance to take your time and make more lasting memories.
Romance (Obviously!) If your wife-to-be actually walked across the threshold and there are no lit candles in sight and no flowers to be found, men, you have already failed her — try not to make it a habit when you get home. Feeling Comfortable I have nothing against bathroom sex, floor sex, or even patio sex — they’re a real rush! But no woman wants to wake up the morning after her wedding with weird bruises in unwanted places and zero recollection of how they got there. That’s the complete opposite of romantic.Passion Skip the clichés and tell her what it really feels like to be laying next to the woman of your dreams on the most magical night of your life. Related Links
So as the countdown begins to this year’s Calgary Stampede, I’m reminded of last year’s “debacle” during the festivities. That is, I spent eight hours at a bar with a handsome “urban cowboy” who professed to be single and genuinely smitten by me. A day later, I found out that he was married — and I chose to track down and tell his wife.
I wrote about that incident last year here on the Huffington Post. And reader reactions were strongly divided, from mighty applause to others calling me a “home-wrecker” and a “woman with anger issues.”
“Did I make the right decision?” I asked myself over and over. All roads of my analysis lead to the answer, “yes” No doubt it was painful information for his wife to hear. Yes, I was angry and hurt when I told her, too. But having been the victim of infidelity during my marriage, I knew what it was like to sit at home with the kids while husband dearest had his cake and ate it too. More than anything, I wished someone had had the balls to tell me. Thus, after a year of no communication with this man or his wife, I decided to email her this week. My goal was not to find out if they’d broken up, rather, to ask if she despised me for telling her. This is the message I received back: “Delaine, I do not despise you. On the contrary I’m still glad that you told me. I’ve become a much stronger woman since last year, making decisions that are good for me and my future, including working part-time. I’m speaking my mind a lot more with “Brian” around a lot of issues. And he, in turn, has become a much better husband than ever — supportive, communicative, and a lot more mellowed out.
I think ignorance is not bliss. I would rather know than not, because then I cannot be a victim and say I had no idea what he was, or is capable of.
After you told me, my marriage was rocky for quite some time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay or go. But time and much communication helped me realize that his cheating with you was one small indiscretion in 20 years (that I can prove) and that was a case of man trying to show off to a bunch of idiot friends. And though I highly doubt that his version of events from that night are true, I’ve chosen to move on and be happy where we are.
If he ever cheats again, we will be done. He has been banned from hanging out with those Stampede friends, though they do have business dealings on occasion. A couple of months ago, he went with them to a hockey game. He was home by 11 o’clock, while the others headed out to the strippers.
I do have moments when I remember back to all that happened, aand the feelings that surface are not pleasant. But I remind myself of how much things have changed in a year and realize I’ve never been happier. I’m content with my choice, Delaine, but my eyes are wide open.”
So there you have it folks — one year later and straight out of the victim’s mouth. Are you surprised?