”Buttgate” And Michelle Obama Will Not Be Happy At All
Several instances of sexual harassment recently reported by the media — some in retrospect, one immediate and alarming — gave readers fodder for genuine concern as well as salacious gossip
I find allegations of sexual harassment in retrospect quite unbelievable! When three lady lawyers claimed as an afterthought that their legal superiors had been sexually harassing them, what was even more amazing was that each of them claimed she bore no ill will towards her ‘tormentor’ and did not wish to ruin his reputation.
If you burn a finger, the reaction is instantaneous; you do not wait years to reveal the hurt and revile the flame that burnt you. So why would you do any less justice to the outrage of your ego, self-respect and dignity?
Unless… you are implying that these matter less than physical hurt.
Unless… you are admitting that you can compromise your dignity or your ego in the interest of career advancement.
Unless… you are saying that since you cannot fight the ‘system’, it is better to go along with it till you are parked in a safe bay, from where you can assuage your guilt by confessing all, no matter whom you hurt.
For, guilty you are, Mihira Sood and the two unnamed interns. Guilty of being a silent victim, and suffering a wrong, if that’s what you thought it was; and this does not make you much better than the perpetrator of the crime. By suffering silently, you did greater harm to the many women who worked with these men later, than the good you will do now, by opening up. You allowed men to believe they could get away with harassing young girls, showering them with unwanted attention and gifts, and sending obscene texts and images. You let men believe that a woman enjoys such insincere attention, and that her ‘No’ seldom means ‘No’.
And what’s more, by suddenly deciding to open your mouth from a position of ‘confidence’ and ‘power’ when you felt safe, you have done even more harm to the cause of women than you did earlier by not standing up for yourselves.
What is scary is that such revelations, once picked up by the social media citizens waiting for a cause to espouse, can grow disproportionately, and in undesired directions. Indeed, media and women’s organisations need to be sensitive to the repercussions of such sudden outpourings of antimale sentiments to the beleaguered male-female work dynamics in offices. It will further confuse men and women on how to relate to colleagues. Already, lawyers are indicating they would rather not take female interns; I am sure men in other organisations will be thinking likewise.
Every woman should feel empowered enough to be able to say ‘No’ for herself. If beyond a point she feels the refusal isn’t helping, she can adopt a threatening posture, and if that fails as well, she needs to seek further help. But to remain quiet is complicity – and to speak up years later, after waiting to feel more powerful and confident, is the worst thing to do. Yes, it may help the woman achieve her catharsis, but nothing changes the fact that she was weak and gave precedence to career over dignity – and that’s something no woman should ever do. Isn’t she then doing exactly what Ranjit Sinha, Director CBI, controversially stated, “If rape is inevitable, one should lie back and enjoy it?”
The Tehelka journalist, who exposed her boss Tarun Tejpal for sexually assaulting her and demanded justice is admirable, because she stood up for what was right there and then, refusing to compromise her dignity, and without the thought of losing her job. Else, years later, after many more girls had suffered at the altar, she may have looked back and confessed on a blog as well…
It is not enough to blame the system as Mihira does, or to be scared of jeopardising one’s career, as she was. You have to take responsibility for yourself and your dignity. And when dealing with the system or with men, you have to understand the nature of the beast.
Without getting into rights and wrongs, the truth remains – men will chase. Competitiveness, thrill of a chase and the ego boost of victory are ingrained into their DNA. A woman, if not interested, has to be careful of the signals she gives out and say a firm ‘No’. If half decent, a man will understand the signal and withdraw; if not, she can up the antennae – but it is just not done to enjoy the career fruits of quiet submission to the indignity, and then scream wolf, wolf, years later.
Mayara Tavares who is a 16 year-old and a junior G8 delegate from Brazil has become an overnightinternational celebrity after few pictures surfaced of President Barack Obama staring at the young girl’s derrière with an onlooking French President Nicolas Sarkozy noticing. Some say Obama was ogling others say he was being a gentleman by helping the lady behind him. What do you think? Truth be told, it is a nice ass however it is jailbait ass in most civil parts of the world, yes, but a nice jailbait ass. How can a mere man resist just talking a look. The Brazilian female is famous for her shapely ass. And unlike in America where the boobs is king, the ass rule Brazil. You know, I kinda feel sorry for Obama because Michelle does not seem like the type of woman that take shit like this episode.
I am still shocked, in a purely Clintonesque moment, Barack Obama was photographed “apparently” checking out the ass of a Brazilian girl at the G-8 summit in Italy. TMZ published the image with the headline “Baby Got Barack,” so there’s no doubt Brazilian Mayara certainly grabbed the attention of the world. Yup, for doing basically noting she is now the most famous teenager in Brazil. Please remember, some states in America the legal age of consent is 16 year-old. But I was checking around, the age of consent in Brazil is 18. But, no where it is illegal just to look! I bet he also has one of his stimulates package for that ass. LOL… This is going to go straight to her head, she will be bragging to her female friends in Brazil how Obama checked out her ass. Click on pictures to enlarge.
Literary giant Ernest Hemingway lived, loved and died by his own rules, leaving a trail of exceptional work, but also broken women and homes
Intellect is seductive… and is equally eager to be seduced. Women are drawn to intelligent men; the interest of a worthy man gives a woman an increased feeling of self-worth. And genius is a world apart. We forgive our men of letters many evils, and indeed many of them – most dead, some still alive, are boors when it comes to real life, however delicious they may be between the pages of their books.
And it is equally true that these men, when they get out of their own intensely thoughtful heads, have sought women like muchneeded tonic – ever younger, more beautiful, doting and appreciative. After the initial charm wears off, reluctant to settle with anything lesser, they have changed women as one changes clothes, seeking to stay on the high which the initial flush of love and sex brings. This keeps the adrenaline flowing, the ego sated. And of course, it keeps the ideas coming.
One such giant of English literature, Ernest Hemingway took birth and died this month many years ago (July 21, 1899 – July 2, 1961). In between the two defining dates, he lived life to the fullest on his own terms, indulging every whim, courting danger and flirting with death – be it on the battlefields of two World Wars, the bullfighting arena of Spain, the jungles of Africa, his regular trysts with the sea, or two airplane crashes on successive days! Ironically, he escaped these deadly arenas, and finally met Death in his own home foyer on his own terms, by blowing his brains out with his favourite shotgun. This last was the only tale he did not live to tell, the only experience he could not share.
Hemingway’s dangerous living is explained in his words from Paula McCain’s book The Paris Wife. Talking of the bull fighting in Pamplona, Spain, Hemingway says to first wife Hadley Richardson, “The torero has to know he is dying and the bull has to know it, so when it’s pulled away at the last second, it’s like a kind of magic. That’s really living.” Hemingway was a cocktail of contradictions, as history’s most interesting human beings are.
He loved with a passion that saw nothing wrong in chasing many women at the same time, and hated with a vengeance that saw nothing wrong in ridiculing and harming those who supported him on his upward journey. A man who was scared of Death and yet courted her repeatedly; one who had built a heroic myth around himself, yet was scared to sleep with the lights off. One who needed his space and solitude to write and yet could not bear to be alone.
Hadley, who probably loved him best of all four wives, says of him, “He was such an enigma – fine and strong and weak and cruel. An incomparable friend and a son of a bitch. In the end, there wasn’t one thing about him that was truer than the rest. It was all true.” For Hemingway, life was about honing his art of writing and gaining popularity.
A serial womaniser, each time he got bored with his wife, he sought out a new attachment while still married. Hadley was eight years older to him and was credited with grounding and encouraging the young Hemingway till he found his feet in the wetlands of literary Paris. Within five years of marriage and a son, Hemingway started an affair with Pauline Pfeiffer, Hadley’s best friend.
Unwilling to let go of either woman, he tried to carry on with both for a while before Hadley called it a day. He married Pauline in 1927 and had two sons with her. By 1936, Papa Hemingway was ready for another innings. This time, he fell for Martha Gellhorn, a war journalist and author almost cast in his own mould. It was a foregone conclusion that this union wouldn’t last as Hemingway could never stand competition.
Within four years, he started living with his fourth and last spouse Mary Welsh even before the formal divorce with Martha. At the end of all this, what did Hemingway feel? Ironically, in his memoir A Moveable Feast, he says about first wife Hadley, “I wish I had died before I loved anyone but her.”
One of Hemingway’s fictional women says about men in To Have and Have Not, “They want someone new, or someone younger, or someone that they shouldn’t have, or someone that looks like someone else… Or they just get tired, I suppose.”
Martha, the wife who hated him most, said of him, “A man must be a very great genius to make up for being such a loathsome human being.”
Hemingway was indeed a tormented man when he died. Much of that torment came to him; his own father had committed suicide, as did five close relatives. The rest he created for himself with his overindulgences, fickleness, huge demands on love and lovers. He once said, “About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”
The mental torture and his unending compulsion to be liked and applauded created the myth of an invincible Papa Hemingway, who ultimately died as he lived and loved – by his own rules.