In the race to attract and retain the best employees Silicon Valley employers have taken the lead in new age perks – everything from flexible work schedules and 24/7 counseling to laundry services and yoga classes. Guess what’s the latest, trendiest benefit they’re offering? Paying for employees to freeze their eggs
The procedure is expensive but it’s attracting an increasing number of working women. EggBanxx, one of the companies in this game sums up this attraction in a nutshell:
Maybe you haven’t found Mr Right just yet or perhaps you would like more time to focus on your education or career. Whatever the reasons, freezing your eggs now will allow you to tackle conception later…
By freezing your eggs when you are 32, you will have pregnancy success rates similar to any other 32-year-old even if you decide to start building your family in your 40s.
Of course we must take all this taking control of fertility business with a pinch of salt. For example, it may reinforce the mindset whereby motherhood is already a major factor in gender pay gaps – would companies giving incentives to put off motherhood pillory employees who nonetheless choose early childbearing, as uncommitted to their careers?
But pending Utopia, the bottom line is choice. More choices for more women are welcome.
Inevitably when I discuss my fertility preservation choice to freeze embryos with donor sperm, I am asked, “Did you get to see his photo?” I respond the same way every time: “Only a baby photo, and I would never want to see a current photo of my donor.”
The fertility industry, in particular the sperm banks who sell donor sperm, hold varying opinions about the ethics involved in posting current photos of sperm donors. I am vehemently against it as a practice. A CNN article published last friday about a new Google app that would recognize people’s faces reiterates my position that using current photos of sperm donors is a dangerous practice in today’s high-tech world.
Of course, it always comes down to Hollywood.
Interestingly enough, the California Cryobank uses celebrity look-alike photos instead of current photos to give prospective clients some idea of what their sperm donors “look” like. The company cautions that just because one of the look-alike photos of your sperm donor is Brad Pitt, it doesn’t mean you are going to produce offspring that looks like Brad Pitt. DNA is a little more complicated than that.
In my case, my sperm donor had the eyes and lips of Freddie Prinze Jr, but not his eyebrows. He also had the physique of a young Oscar De La Hoya. But overall he looked the most like an all-grown up Christopher Knight — yes, Peter from “The Brady Bunch.”I certainly have never approached dating by trying to find a man who looks like Joey Lawrence or Jake Gyllenhall, my favorite celebrity crushes, but I do recognize that I am naturally drawn to athletic physiques, full lips, dark hair or sans hair and Mediterranean skin tones. I could easily marry someone with blond hair and blue eyes, but when I was diagnosed with cancer and had just five days to pick a sperm donor, I went with the “type” I most frequently revisited when dating Mind you, I did not start with a celebrity look-alike search. Instead, I started with a catalogue of statistics. I narrowed down 300 donors to 30 by eliminating anyone who was of an ethnicity that did not fit my aesthetic “type” and anyone who did not have all the donor information pieces available: short and long-profile with multi-generational health history, handwritten donor essay, audio interview, personality profile, baby photo and staff impressions, to name a few available through the California Cryobank.
By the time I selected my donor, I was in love with his DNA. His DNA, not what his eyes look like when he’s holding back emotion or how his hair fell across his forehead or how his smile makes him look like he’s up to something. I didn’t fall in love with what his butt looked like in a baseball uniform or how hard I laughed every time he tried to dance. I didn’t fall in love because he made me feel safe, beautiful and inspired. I didn’t feel anything but hope. Hope for the child that his DNA would help me create.
Seeing a current photo of him would create a false intimacy between us that I did not want. It would humanize his DNA too much for me. I think women less sane than I might not be able to walk down the street without looking for him if they saw a photo. I didn’t pick him; I picked hisgenetic goods, and that is the key distinction in selecting a sperm donor. Using current photos could blur the lines between choosing genetics and choosing a person.
Imagine that I did see his photo and my child is five years old or 16 years old or about to get married. If I chose the person and not the genetics, I likely would want to locate him, introduce him to “our” child and even invite him to the wedding. But he wanted to be anonymous. Nevertheless, I can’t get the image of his face out of my mind and wonder what it would be like for him to watch “our” daughter walk down the aisle.
If I had that one photo of him, I’d be able to locate him in a millisecond on my mobile phone using the Google app. Granted, you will have to opt-in to the service to allow the app to recognize your face in any photo. But, if a sperm donor wants to be anonymous and there is a photo of him on the cryobank website, he could be found immediately, even though the sperm bank promised him anonymity.
You see, sperm banks aren’t in a position to keep promises of privacy if they share current photos with technology like this Google one on the horizon. We can’t hinder technological progress, because certain industries require higher standards and restrictions to protect privacy. But industry can adjust to technology and protect those who gave up their rights to parent children created from their DNA so that people like me could actualize their dreams of motherhood.
Sex is a physical activity, as we already know. Therefore, getting in shape, being fit and having a fabulous body will definitely improve your sex-life. Not only this, working out regularly will help increase your stamina and strength to perform.
People who regularly exercise are more healthier, fitter and tend to have more attractive bodies. This should be enough motivation for folks who think that their weight is normal and hence, do not need to exercise. If the prospects of better health doesn’t motivate you, perhaps exercising for the sake of better sex might. Here are some exercises that will help you to enhance your prowess in bed:
Push-ups are great for obvious reasons. They help to strengthen the arms, shoulders and stomach muscles. Sporting a paunch might be a major turn off for quite a lot of people. Having firm, sexy abs is very attractive physical attribute. Having strong abs is very useful for males especially when it comes to the man-on-top position.
Doing squats, a lot of muscles are put to work producing greater amount of hormones, which in turn will boost your sex drive. They improve one’s strength and stamina of gluteus muscles and the upper legs thereby helping to improve one’s performance. Doing squats also helps one achieve a firm and attractive bottom.
Doing bench presses, helps to strengthen the chest and shoulder muscles. Women find chest muscles sexually appealing and it will help men to support themselves longer without getting exhausted easily. As for women, doing bench presses will make the breasts firm and seem full.
Whether it is doing aerobics, running or swimming, doing cardio-vascular exercises help increase blood circulation in the body. Having a good blood flow and circulation helps in the process of arousal, which is especially essential for men performance-wise. Also, doing cardio helps release of endorphins in the brain, which are known as the happy hormones.
Last but not the least, Doing Kegel’s exercise can help make a remarkable difference in your sex life. Pubococcygeal muscles also known as PC muscles are the muscles used to stop urinating midstream. That’s because, for men, regularly doing Kegel’s exercises will help them to control the muscles that contract during ejaculation and therefore prolong ejaculation. As for women, doing Kegel’s exercises will help you gain gain control over the vaginal muscles, thereby getting greater sexual satisfaction.