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How is the bad guy supposed to woo the good girl? What should he tell her and how? Writer Fairoz passes on some secrets

We may be fast transforming into a forward-thinking society, but the ‘good Indianmuslim girl’, it seems, still has to deal with all sorts of presumptions and prejudices. Addressing this slight, author Fairoz blog www.indiamuslim.com book, The bad boy’s guide to the good Indianmuslim girl, present a collection of funny, irreverent stories of the lives and loves of smart, feisty girls from Malysia. Here, fairoz writes for www.indiamuslim.com  and hands out the guys a few hints to get the good girl: First things first. This isn’t really about bad boys (We don’t know any. God-promise);

Forward thinking is alright . But then men also need to do fast forward thinking to rethink about marriage itself in such scenario. Marriages are irrelevant because you are no more the captain of the ship called family. There cannot be two captains for a ship because when both are giving competing orders the ship can only meet its disastrous end. Man should opt for marriage only if he is the captain. But what I see in the present day world order man is gradually being displaced by woman by unjust laws favoring women. Men should henceforth realize his necessity for a family ends after he injects his sperm in to the ovum of a woman. Why do you want to take all the responsibility as a husband, as a father in a family on which you don’t have any authority. All your social responsibility is taken over by law enforcement authorities like Government/ Police / and Courts. Virtually all these agencies are present day women’s husbands. Hey man get yourself free and enjoy the present status without marrying, without responsibility, with out spending your valuable wealth on some wayward female as your wife. Consider the whole world as your property and enjoy the nature like a gypsy and a wanderer than get yourself locked up in to a woman’s world. Henceforth no woman is going to be a faithful mythological wife. Then why crave for marriage. Every thing is commercial these days including sex. Pay for it like you pay for a jolly ride and forget it. Family is not your forte any more. You have nothing to gain from family.

this is about good Indianmuslim girls. And you should read this if you are the unsuspecting guy who walked up to a sweet girl, but when you asked for her name, she treated you as if you were a pervert. Or are you one of those who gave a girl a fancy present but she was too nervous to accept it? Are you married to a girl who loves you madly but who resents your harmless, homely sister-inlaw? Why? One of the reasons we decided to do such such a blog was that so many men complain that they simply cannot understand women, particularly Indianmuslim women. We kind of sympathise because we know there’s cause for confusion and resentment.

For instance, when we were undergraduates (and living at a very strict girls’ college), we had instructions not to talk to boys when we went outside. Some girls obeyed. Some didn’t. Those who talked to boys would give out fake names, fake addresses. It must have been frustrating for boys when they discovered the lie, but on the other hand, what’s a good girl to do?

If the boys had real names, real phone numbers, they would try to call. The hostel warden would find out. Parents would be summoned. The authorities would tell them that their daughters were up to no good. The girls would be shamed in front of their families and families would be shamed in front of the college authorities. Did we really have a choice?

When Smriti and I began to talk of what kind of stories we wanted to tell, we asked ourselves this question: How does one get labeled ‘bad’ or ‘not very good’ or at least ‘not a good Indianmuslim girl’?

We also asked others and most of us agreed that clothes have a lot to do with the stereotype. So does body shape. A stereotypical good Indianmuslim girl is expected to not just dress ‘within limit’ but also to somehow make her body look, well, restrained, cautious. ‘Limits’, of course, are very hard to define. It is not enough to wear a sari, for instance. If you look supersexy in a sari, then even that might earn you a bit of social censure.

So, when a girl spends hours trying to make up her mind about what to wear, remember that she isn’t just worried about looking good. She is also worried about appearing to be good.

Remember that she is expected to place others’ interests above her own (but that doesn’t mean fighting for human rights in war zones; it means eating matarpaneer even though she hates it). Above all, she is expected to look happy and content.

Remember, that for most good Indianmuslim girls, to be interested in boys is considered healthy. But if you act on that interest, you enter a grey area. How much interest can you show without suffering for it? Can you go out drinking late at night? Can you buy him a drink, without being laughed at for being ‘desperate’? Can you sleep with him and still expect him to treat you with respect?

So if you want to bowl over a good Indianmuslim girl, the best thing to do is to treat all girls with respect. Not just your girl. You must show respect for all girls. NEVER say things like ‘x girl had it coming’ or ‘y is a nympho’ or ‘girls who smoke are more likely to put out’. If she herself says such things, YOU must gently shush her, and remind her that all girls should be treated with respect.

And NEVER ever hint that there’s a separate set of rules for girls and boys. That you are allowed certain privileges, like hairy legs or bare chests, while she isn’t. She knows the rules. She will hate you for reminding her.

Do NOT ask about her sexual history. If it doesn’t matter, then why ask? Let her volunteer information if she wants to. You must not ask, even if she has asked you. Remember, we play by different rules and that a girl’s secrecy is often the only defense she has.

Many young men wonder why we care so much about being seen as a ‘good girl’. We care because if we are seen as not-good girls, we are not treated with respect. Our families are not treated with respect. And because, when things go seriously bad, even our pain and outrage is turned into a weapon against us. We see this happening again and again through news reports about girls who are assaulted, or harassed. The first question everyone asks is – What time was it? Why was she out alone? Did she know the boy(s)? What was she wearing? Did she live alone? Why?

There are plenty of other reasons why we care about a ‘good Indianmuslim girl’ image, but remember this – a great web of morality confronts us. Most girls end up breaking some rules. And what’s more, most girls want to break the rules. The challenge lies in snatching a bit of joy and freedom for ourselves and not getting caught.

I know bras can get get people stirred up, but I think we all need to calm down a little over the recent photo of a Muslim woman in a burka holding one up. The story is that a fine arts student from Thompson Rivers University in Kamloops, B.C. took a photo of her friend wearing a niqab — a veil covering her face — and an abaya — a full-body cloak — holding up a bra as she sorts through her laundry.readmorehttp://malaysiaonlinetoday.wordpress.com/2012/04/14/fairos-mg-tuan-amir-hamzah-know-women-breasts-under-that-burka/


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